My cock is not comparable to your dead cow

I have an average sized cock. It’s around 5.5″-6″ when hard. Yes, I’ve measured. In the bell curve of penises I fall right about in the middle. And I’m still insecure about the size of my cock. I think most guys are.

Given all of that it was hard today to see Tristan Taormino retweet this:

RT AdriannaNicole Some people don’t like to consume beef, I don’t like to consume small cocks. Same. Thanks for making me smile today.

While I’d certainly not deny that people have and have a right to their preferences, I agree with what Elizabeth said, also on Twitter:

A major sex educator feeding a highly charged issue like that is irresponsible in my eyes.

So let’s turn the table for a moment and put in any other attribute. Substitute any of the following for “small cocks”: small tits, fat thighs, stretch marks, large labia minora, body hair. Am I just stating a preference then, or am I also reinforcing some pretty serious cultural programming and its attendant negative effects? And if I’m a high profile sex educator, then what message is that sending?

Isn’t part of the job of the sex educator, particularly a sex-positive sex educator, to help normalize the variations of the human body? Shouldn’t we be looking at ways to expand the sexual palate instead of reinforcing the cultural standards of what bodies should be like, especially when it comes to issues that carry so much body hatred with them already?

Ultimately I may be a bit of a hippie elitist. If your preferences are to avoid a certain attribute of a particular body part then it seems you’re more concerned with what you’re fucking than who you’re fucking. I would hope that sex-positivity would lead to whole-body sexuality over body part focused sexuality.

2 Responses to “My cock is not comparable to your dead cow”

  1. stoat Says:
    October 7th, 2009 at 1:56 pm

    Amen!! Sexuality is more than just body-part-preferences, but our collective sexual consciousness too often manifests itself as a list of physical must-haves. Jokes and comments by high-profile people are not just innocuous preferences when they play into this stuff. On the other hand, those who really appreciate us for who we are can do a lot to reverse that shame. I first started to love my big ass and small tits when I met my husband, who loves ’em.

  2. TheShorty Says:
    October 26th, 2009 at 2:36 pm

    I don’t think it’s wrong for anyone to have preferences… what we are attracted to is part of our makeup, more often than not. I do think it’s wrong to broadcast them if you are in a high profile situation- especially as a sex educator.

    I’m also a big proponent of not being bound by your preferences. Just like I say on FetLife (regularly, unfortunately!)… you find more than you imagined when you aren’t worried about whether people fit in your ticky boxes of “preferences”. After all, I know a lot of people who say their partner(s) don’t fit many, if any, of the “type” they have/had.

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